week 10, tuesday

[antagonize]

[Somewhere within the Pygmalion's middle deck, an (extremely questionable) event is taking place. Public spaces have been invaded. Tablets have been taken out of the parlor. Buckets have been filled with assorted, cheap plastic rings from the 3D printer. Overly familiar murals of Paris have been put on display inside the viewport. Teens are about to become 100% more fulfilled than their adult counterparts on the ship.

Well. Not that the last one is hard to achieve — but it's the principle of the matter.

Or:

]

Comments

pre-furry wedding?? who knows

[antagonize]

[And before any furries get actually meowrried, Jason takes it upon himself to convince Elizabeth of the benefits of accompanying him in this mess. A mess which he, of course, orchestrated. If they're all going to die terrible deaths by meat skewers, he might as well mess with the kids by getting them hitched before it happens.]

C'mon. It'll be fun. Don't tell me you've never wanted to see a wedding before?

[baptizer]

Of course I had! Wedding dresses are - they're gorgeous!

[ Like, come on what little girl doesn't dream of her wedding day? But, Elizabeth is down the hallway actively walking away from Jason. There were definitely other things to do. ]

This is a tease to their feelings for one another and - it's not a very funny joke!

[ Just a little more convincing, Jason. It'll be harmless then. ]

[antagonize]

Oh, please. If it were a tease, I wouldn't have bothered getting a real priest.

[Implying Judar is a real priest. He's chasing after her, of course, finding all of this incredibly hilarious. Unless those things involve getting out of the overall situation, he doubts they're more important.]

You'll enjoy it. Get all teary eyed, even. You don't want to miss out and then explain to the kids why you skipped their wedding, do you?

[baptizer]

[ Hands in the air!!! Boys are sure stupid!!! Elizabeth stops, nearly forcing him to slam into her. It's sudden and she spins to face him, finger definitely a-waggin'. ]

I won't cry over something like this - they're kids.

[ But, the way he talks about skipping the "wedding", she rolls her eyes. ]

Fine. Since I highly doubt you won't leave me alone until you get your jollies off on this.

Wedding jitters?? [Prewedding]

[missmaladroite]

[Accost the furries while they're together!!!]

[douchemag]

[Assuming Marinette FINALLY lets him in after his angry knocking, Judar will just barge in without any explanation whatsoever, snapping his fingers at Adrien.]

You. Get out. Find Dave, meet us in the viewport in an hour.

[And then he immediately heads for Marinette's closet.] Don't you have anything in white?

[monsieurchatastrophe]

Uh. What? What for?

[ADRIEN DON'T JUST WHAT FOR THIS]

[douchemag]

Uh, 'cause you need a best man and it's bad luck to see the bride in her dress before the wedding? Obviously.

[missmaladroite]

[She will, though she looks really weirded out]

What are you doing?! Why are you looking at my clothes?!

[Well... there's a dress with some white, (sans mask) does that count?]

[douchemag]

[Oh, he actually approves of this dress - it's close enough to the style back home that he'll pull it out and toss it at her.]

Proving a point, that's what. Not up to snuff, I'll show you...

[Dress picked out, he then proceeds to barge into her bathroom.] Where do you keep your make-up? The good stuff, not the cheap shit you usually wear.

[PREWEDDING] the best man???

[monsieurchatastrophe]

[Adrien might be looking a little dazed and confused as he finds Dave. he's also. holding a bundle of clothes because apparently grabbing the tux is the same as wearing it??? or maybe he wanted to give dave one last chance to undress him. listen. my ship is being sunk for my other ship this is all very tragic]

Um, Dave, I kinda... need you in the viewport?

[that's ominous]

[parodeity]

[ hey it's not too late to elope with ur best man, adrien????? but dave immediately sidesteps over towards adrien. he's actually dressed nice? spoilers dave likes tuxedos and knows how to wear them. ]

A'ight, what's up, dude? [ that's super ominous but it's adrien so he's not that worried ]

[monsieurchatastrophe]

I... think I'm getting married?

[is that something you need to go "i think" on, adrien???]

[parodeity]

Yeah Judar said something about that? [ at least dave thinks he heard something about it and figured it was either a joke or hilariously about to be a thing. ]

Do you wanna stop it, or do you wanna do the wedding thing?

GET MARRIED MOTHERFUCKERS

[monsieurchatastrophe]

[Adrien is now in the viewport, dressed in his amazing suit (minus the mask) because Alice is a shipper and if we want hilarious things to be worn at this wedding we absolutely can. Dave is present to be the world's Best Man Ever, also. and now they await the bride??? will he find out who did this for to him???

honestly he looks confused and anxious what have you people done]

This place doesn't look half-bad, at least?

[antagonize]

[The viewport is silent as both Adrien and Dave walk in. The decorations are, indeed, not half-bad. This, of course, means that overcompensation must happen somewhere.

And it does.

Not even ten seconds after they've stepped into the viewport, the following song will begin to play. Looking over to the source of the music will reveal Jason, holding a tablet, and wearing the same shitty hoodie as always. You're welcome.]

Y'know... I was expecting Marinette, but this works as well.

[Ah, so Jason reveals his true colors as a Davedrien shipper.]

[baptizer]

"Get prettied up", he says. I thought you'd return the favor.

[ Guess who looks like an idiot! THIS GIRL. Marinette had a dress that eeriely fit her - maybe it was happenstance or it was just for her, who knows. Point was, it was cute and Elizabeth crosses her arms and gives Jason an incredulous stare. ]

Are we now bordering the line of delusional and cheeky? [ She gives Adrien a courtesy nod. ] This is - um. Nice.

[ IT'S NOT REALLY REAL, BUT LET'S KEEP THE KIDS GOING FOR #SANITY ]

[missmaladroite]

[And out comes the bride, wearing this dress sans mask. Her makeup is on point thanks to Judar. She's got a veil with her, awww!]

[Except she's not wearing it, she's holding it out. Then, something tiny and red flits out from her dress, to tug it over and deposit it on Jason's head.]

Great job, Tikki!

[Ah, the perks of not having to hide your kwami. Marinette rolls her eyes at the music, making a swipe for the tablet]

JASON AND LIZ GETTING HITCHED MOFOS

[douchemag]

[Anyone walking into the viewport right now will be treated to an odd sight: Marinette in a fancy dress and flawless make-up, Adrien in a stylish suit, Dave in a red tuxedo, and Judar in an intricate ceremonial Chinese robe. Huh, seems like something formal might be going down soon? Something like...a wedding???

And yet oddly enough, it's Elizabeth in a cute white dress and Jason in...a hoodie...that's standing in front of Judar staring deeply into each other's eyes. Judar clears his throat and casually raises a hand up, presumably to conduct the ceremony but really because he's written a bunch of notes on his arm Mulan style.]

Dear assholes, we are gathered here today to witness the union between Jason...Something and Elizabeth Whoknows in holy matrimony. Apparently, as the priest I can now say whatever I want as long as it's about meaningful about love and life, which is the stupidest ritual I've ever heard and also no one has time for that shit. So I'll just say this - apparently, murders are a really good ingredient for hooking people up. Kind of makes you wonder - was all of this worth it so two people who should have never been able to meet in any reality could finally find love with each other?

[He pauses.] No. No, it was not. But we're here anyway, so you may as well see it through. Now you have to say your vows.

[baptizer]

[ Okay, look, dishonor on you and dishonor on your cow.

Elizabeth is awkward - her shoulders slumped and nervous. Like, this was all pretend. This was all a joke and she went along with it - she knows Jason by now! He's totally putting Adrien out to dry like wet laundry. All in good fun, it's notuntil she's actually really standing across from him.

Judar's little speech makes her narrow her eyes, clearing her throat at every curse word. ]

You know, that's not how it goes. Not at all.

[ She shoots everyone in the room an eyeroll before focusing back on Jason for some reason? Like, she's really serious? Not really, because she explains: ]

Vows are suppose to mean sometime. Like... how that person makes you feel... why they mean something to you - how you can picture your entire life involving them. It's a solemn promise...

[ She's thoughtful, humming to herself. ]

I don't know you very well - not at all really. I mean, in this scenario, I would rather like to think we were courting for a while before agreeing but - [ AHEM. ] I don't think I'd be here without you. Without the love you've given and the warmth you've brought to me. [ Another throat clear as she looks to Marinette but then back to Jason. ] See? And - um... just thinking about you makes me smile even if you're so damn infuriating. It's - it's odd. You make me be a better person and I want to give you everything I can in life. With this, it is my word that I'll cherish you - unconditionally.

[ AWKWARD POETIC SHRUG? ]

Not...so bad, see?

[antagonize]

Nope. I'm pretty sure that's exactly how it goes.

[... No. That's not how it goes and he knows it. The fact that Elizabeth is the one pointing this out means he has to be contrary, though. That's just the way it is. It seems like he wholly intents to take this "fake" wedding as a joke, really. But then Elizabeth starts taking things too seriously and he just — sobers up. Entirely.

Or, more exactly, it looks like he sobers up. Saying he's suddenly super duper unforgettable would be way more precise. And true. The words "shit" and "fuck" may or may not be going through his mind on repeat.

This has been a mistake. Whoops.]

Aw, shit. Now you're gonna make me take this all seriously.

[Said like this all very haha funny, but. Shit. Fuck. Shit??? Fuck?????? Do not make Jason Todd talk about feelings or anything overly sentimental. It freaks him the hell out. Please watch him make a big effort to play it cool.]

For what it's worth, I'm glad you're alive and probably not a murderous psychopath. Or, y'know, possessed. [Glances. At the kids. Alien kink is a weird kink. Kinkshames them just in case. Anyway, wow. What a way with words???] You're kinder than I deserve. Far too fucking trusting. It's— not bad. Makes me want to put effort in things. And— ugh.

[OKAY. FUCK. HE'S LOOKING AT THE KIDS AGAIN!!!!!!! HE'S NOT FLUSTERED DON'T JUDGE HIM???????????? SHIT.]

You know what? Lesson time. Stick to that whole "in sickness and in health" shit. It's easy. Peasy. Clean. No need to go through all this word vomit. Just memorize a stupid sentence and you're done. There. I promise to cherish you and be less of a dickwad until death do us part. The end. Now move on.

[MISTAKES WERE MADE MISTAKES WERE MADE MISTAKES WERE MADE]

[douchemag]

[The long sleeves of his robe really come in handy, because it means he can pretend to be flipping the pages of the Bible (which has been opened to Revelations) while actually hiding his gagging at Liz's vows and his barely suppressed sniggering at Jason's. Look, the fact that he's bothering to cover this up at all is the absolute height of professionalism.]

I'm with Jason on that one. And now, the ceremonial exchanging of rings.

[There's a pause as he realizes that thanks to this being a "practice" run, he doesn't have any fucking rings. But you know what, HE WILL ROLL WITH IT. Without missing a beat, he clears his throat.]

Which will be prefaced by the ceremonial presenting of the ring bucket. [And then he hisses to Dave out of the corner of his mouth.] Dave, pass up the ring bucket!

okay now the actual main course, maybe

[monsieurchatastrophe]

[after liz has finally made an honest man out of jason todd, the furry wedding has magically not been annulled and here they are, standing at the "altar", next to each other. Before anything starts, however, Adrien leans in close to Marinette to whisper:]

We don't have to go through with this if you don't want to. [he looks to the side, smiling shyly as he keeps the same level of voice] But, I... I'd like to be your husband, if you'd let me.

[listen he might not have gotten to propose but this isn't bad for literal surprise eloping]

[missmaladroite]

[Murders?? What murders? Something has finally taken her mind off of where they are and what's happening, and of course it's marriage to Adrien. Marinette's still wondering if this is all just a fever dream.]

[She stares dumbly at Adrien for a good few seconds, very reminiscent of their early meetings]

No, I... this what I've been dreaming about for almost as long as I've--

[Oops, Marinette, don't admit that. Laughs sheepishly]

No, of course I'll be your husband. Er, you be my husband. Adrien, I.... I....

[Yeah, she's totally reverted]

[douchemag]

Hrrf.

[Yeah, he's already visibly gagging. Look, he hasn't officially started the ceremony yet, he can be as unprofessional as he wants right now. Also starting to regret this decision - is saving his pride really worth this, probably not.]

Let's just get this over with as fast as possible. These robes are stuffy as hell, I'm not wearing them any longer than necessary.